Hello Amigos ! Hope y’all doing well 🙂
First of all, i want to kick off this post by asking you : What are ups and downs for you? what do they represent?
Have you ever gone through days where you just find yourself in a hundred and five different moods, in a small matter of time? Well yeah, we’ve all been there.
Yesterday seemed like a normal day, i went to school, went back home, spent time with my brother and at night, i spent time alone listening to some music. When all of a sudden, i realized that i had listened to two opposite songs by the same girl band : Little mix. and i felt something.
The first song is just about not being good enough and being pushed away by that significant “person”
While on the other hand, the other, is just about being strong and getting out of each battle alive and even stronger… so i just thought:
I was there.
At some point i thought i was not good enough; not even close… I doubted myself and i felt soooo small… i tried to fake it just so i could fit in and be a part of something that i didn’t want to get involved in at the first place, just because i felt alone and weak. It was some kind of a roller coaster.
But then… after a while… i stood there in front of my mirror and i looked deep into my eyes and i said : ” What if you’re not the problem? ” And that was it for me. In a matter of seconds i knew… i knew that fitting in wasn’t my one and only concern.. being loved and wanted wasn’t the thing that kept me hostage of not being myself. I doubted myself and OHH HOW WRONG I WAS.
Guys.. sometimes we blame it all on ourselves just so we can protect the ones we love and just to keep them close. We tell ourselves it’s our own fault. That the beast eating us alive is of our own making but it’s not. Because we’re too blinded by the fact that the ones we love and adore the most may be the ones holding us back, may be the obstacles between us and the truth. and so, we lie to ourselves and we start believing our own lies. that’s when we become a lie. we fake it: we fake our thoughts, the way we dress, the way we talk, our character.. we fake the inside out.
So now i say : DON’T.
You’re built that way for a reason, you might walk a part of your long path alone, you may walk it all by yourself and that shouldn’t scare you ! You will lose some and you will gain some ! but, it’s not until you feel comfortable in your skin and start accepting the fact that people will change and leave… that you’ll live in peace…
Just be strong , keep your head up… see the good in the bad and don’t judge yourself, and do not judge others..
Keep that beautiful smile of yours!