My thoughts are now like :
– What college?
– What major?- What’s for lunch?
-What if i don’t get a scholarship? What if I do?
– What if i end up being a successful writer? But what if i end up working behind my desk for 10 hrs for nothing?
oh yes.. The sweet but sour period of ” Future Depression”… you know.. when you’re trying to figure out everything… but you’re clueless. Ughh..
I know that i want a lot of things.. but i guess fear or/and failure are holding me back.. even though i’m a very confident person… i guess.
So, is being a total nothing a good choice ? like ice-cream is to burger, ketchup is to apple pie, completely useless.
It’s a conflict between myself and I. Its annoying, and it’s getting on my last nerves.
I don’t usually overthink things.. i just “go with the flow” but things aren’t choosing icecream flavors, ( Damn, food is on my mind), or what pen color should i get… it’s more serious, complicated.. it’s my FUTURE.
My decisions from now on are, and will, define what path i’m gonna ride on. I don’t really believe in : “Destiny” and “what you do now will decide what you’ll be tomorrow” Hell. i could just fail school but that won’t make me a failure in life. I can spend 5-8 years studying to become a doctor, and end up being a painter. So hell to that.